


A tiny man with a tall hat on a bike

by Laila_2802



Series: Tommy's (really not good) college life [8]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Collage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), School, School's shit, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Techno and Wilbur make an appearance, Tommy's terribly stressed out, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, author needed to vent, dadza and momza help him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29184924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laila_2802/pseuds/Laila_2802
Summary: Tommy is stressed out because of school. He also has really low self-esteem but his parents could not be more proud of the wonderful boy the raised.---------This is part of a series, to understand the family dynamics you should probably readthisbut it's not mandatory.
Series: Tommy's (really not good) college life [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057793
Kudos: 39





	A tiny man with a tall hat on a bike

**Author's Note:**

> I had a talk with my mom about my feelings which led my to write this.  
> It felt way longer while writing and I'm dissapointed that it isn't that long.  
> If it's sucks, I'm sorry but I hope you enjoy anyways :)
> 
> PS: momza is present but I did not mentioned her name because I don't know what she thinks about that.

It's bad, not a sudden bad feeling but a constant reminder that he was indeed a failure.  
It's a constant "these things, I don't understand them" or "of course I did bad on that test" in the back of his mind that remind him that yes, he's still a failure.

But Tommys not stupid, contrary to popular belief, he knows how to hide it and apparently he does a great job. His dad thought Tommy had high self-esteem until Tommy specifically told him that he did not. That was a sad night and they both cried (Tommy because he felt truly terrible and Phil because he thought he was a bad dad for not noticing it sooner) but Tommy didn't get treated differently after that, which he was immensely greatful for. 

But you can't truly hide what's wrong with you, even if you try. A small "I'm not sure though" or a quick "at least I think so" after almost every sentence showed how Tommy was in a constant state of second guessing himself. Though every "I'm sorry" after a statement got overlooked and so, no one noticed how bad Tommy's self confidence actually was.  
It was like a tiny man, with a tall hat and a bike, he fits between two fingers, most of the space being occupied by the bike and hat. 

And in the past while he was in school he was okay, not good but good enough. His only talent being that he was good at school but at least it was something. No he couldn't draw good or sing or dance, he also wasn't the best at sports but at least he was good in school. Tommy was praised and constantly used as a good example. It was embarrassing and he felt like it was too much but it was something.  
Now his teachers talk him down and, on the same breath, praise his really good classmate.

It was frustrating and Tommy felt like crying more often than not.  
He started YouTube and Twtich, he was decent (and without anyone around to compare himself to he would consider himself good even). But those are video games that he plays, no one really gets praised for being good at video games, except when you are Technoblade but even he gets praised by only a few. But it's not like Minecraft was his brothers only talent, he was good at basically anything and everything he wasn't good at his other brother, Wilbur, was good at. There wasn't any place for Tommy to have talents.  
Yes he's famous now and he's incredibly greatful for that, he really is, but did he earn that, did he really deserve it? No, not really. His friends pushed him to being where he is now and that alone shows how much he doesn't deserve it. 

So what if he integrated a few of his real life problems onto his character he plays in a roleplay, no one needs to know, not that it would change anything. He isn't that great at role-playing anyways so he hardly thinks anyone noticed. 

So no, he feels bad like basically constantly. It's not really depressing but it's there on the back of his mind, every day. And yes today is one of those day where everything is so much worse. He just can't concentrate and then one of his teachers wants him to do something he just can't fulfill, it's stressful but Tommy would manage. He would have to.  
And what if he didn't do any work in his online classes or any of his homework, that's his problem. It's a big one but still just his. 

No, he would rather stay in his phone or his computer and stimulate his brain with videos on the internet and play games to distract himself. 

But the evening would come and he would have to eat with his family. It's always a good time, ignoring the fact that at least one person wouldn't talk at all but the others make up for it, and on good days everyone would get involved and they would end diner with everyone laughing and in a good mood.  
Diner wasn't his problem, it also wasn't the time he spent afterwards in the living room with his mom and dad while his brothers where in their rooms doing God knows what. He enjoys the time he gets to spend with his family, enjoys it more than anything. But his thought get wandering and soon he stills at a bad place. And he, subconsciously, led the conversation that way, too.  
Suddenly he was complaining how every last one of his teachers insist on telling him every mistake he mad in the last exam. It's exhausting, he knows he's bad in school at the moment, he's already bumpt out that he, probably, won't be able to pursue his dream job, but they insist on doing it. They want to help the students notice their mistakes so it would easier to work on them. It not, it's really not, it only serves to stress Tommy out further and ruin more of his days. 

"Tell them that, mate," Phil said, as if that's so easy, "Tell them that they can stick their explanations of your problems up their bum."  
His mom nods violently, Tommy sighs, it's not that easy, he wants to tell them. When he's barely able to smile through this lump that forms in his throat everytime, smile and say the obligatory "Yes I know, miss", "I will try to change that, miss". It hurts to speak some days, hurts to laugh it of when his classmates ask what grade he got, be he manages. Now telling them to stop doing that, it's too much. Tommy know that, in the long run, it would help him but it's just too much. 

The mentioned lump in his throat is there, during the entire conversation he has with his parents. It's there and it huts, it brings tears in his eyes, they are on the brink of overflowing but he won't let them. If he cries now his parents would feel bad, Phil would give him that sad look and his mom would hug him, they can't change anything and it hurts to see them knowing that. They know but they still try, try to better his mood or just to be there when he need someone to vent to. 

"We are proud if you, you know? You can do literally anything, it would not change the fact that your father and I are insanely proud of you." his mother's words almost make Tommy crumble. He nods, not really able to talk.  
Phil scoots closer to them both and they hug, the best kind of hug, his mom in the front holding him and his dad in the back wrapping his arms around them both. It's the most comforting thing in the world. 

And maybe for a split second Tommy could forget his worries, could forget his stupid teacher and his childish wish to be remembered somehow, that his teachers would talk about him to later students. He can just stay here and not worry about the online classes tomorrow where he would have to explain himself to his teachers again, where he would have to pretend that he gets anything they try, and fail, to explain. 

And if he gets to bed that night to finally let out those tears it's for him to know. Also only he knows that he sobs into the late night and lets the stream of his best friend comfort him.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes it all happens in real life. The initial conversation was way longer but my style of writing sucks so I could not incorporate everything, sadly.


End file.
